This birth was full of many firsts for me. I had a lot of unexpected things happen at the last minute that kept me on my toes and my knees. I was able to apply the lessons from the previous three births to lessen the impact of the challenges that this birth presented for me mentally.
Due to some risk factors that this pregnancy presented, I underwent frequent monitoring at the midwife clinic. At one of my 37 week sessions, they discovered I was low on amniotic fluid and had to be induced the following morning. Since I usually had my babies past the due date, I was not expecting him for another month! I hadn’t even bought diapers! Having him a few days after my due date was one of many expectations that I had to chuck out the window--a strong theme for this pregnancy.
Though I had to be induced, my birth plan protected me from unnecessary interventions and my birth team helped enforce it. I was not confident I could endure the stronger contractions that pitocin creates without an epidural--but I wanted to try. I had a few minutes alone right before things intensified. I knew things were going to get crazy because I was going to allow them to break my water. In that moment, I prayed for strength to surrender and for the help of heavenly angels that had been promised me. I sensed that loved ones who have passed on and loved ones I have not yet met, were going to brace me and buoy me up through what I was about to experience mentally and emotionally. I also had earthly angels--my birth team--to brace me through what I was about to experience physically. With counter pressure from two people at a time, with a third person helping to relax my face and shoulders, I literally let them come with me on the waves. The surrender I gave to my God and both sets of angels filled me with light and energy that replenished my body and soul at a faster rate than I was expelling it. Though I had to receive two blood transfusions after this experience, I walked in my front door feeling lighter and more filled with fortitude and hope than any other birth--for I had truly been filled.